New Year Reflections - Celeste Quackenbush

Celeste Quackenbush - poet

New Year Reflections - Celeste Quackenbush

This past year has been trial after trial, but I survived! And in the midst of losing my home, my security, and my material things, I have managed to still keep writing!

I am so looking forward to this new year with great expectations of publishing my first book of poetry, relocating, and finding permanent stability in a new location.

The one thing that I am grateful for, regarding the upheaval this year brought, is that at my lowest, I learned how to open my heart and say the deep things people are often afraid to voice. When at the bottom, there is no fear; one has nothing to lose.

I pray that the New Year, as my life reorganizes and settles, I will still have the courage to keep voicing them and to encourage others to do likewise with concern, compassion, and conviction!

May the New Year bring blessings to you and all of mankind!

The Ache of Self Sufficiency

 The scars on my cheeks are the reminder

Of the pain that flowed from my heart.

More permanent than just mere tears.

As if of a strong acid that burns as it drips,

Destroying cell after cell, dream after dream,

Hope after hope filling both soul and heart.

Leaving an apparently untouched vessel of ash.

No conscience no soul, no blood to pump

Life back into this cavernous heart.

A constant, continuous ache, a longing

Too controlled by fear to unleash the lock

And open the gates that will allow new love

To wash clean the residue of both acid and ash.

Too afraid of repetition to give life a chance

To warm this vessel and breathe back into it

The heat of another's care, compassion or

Acceptance.

So I stay armoured like a knight.

Steel clad from head to toe, impenetrable by

Human contact, love or emotions. An island

Unto myself. Alone, aloof, avoiding life.

Evading emotional vulnerability, physicality,

And the possibility of self destruction,

Self degradation and humiliation. Just alone.

Reliant on no one, self sufficient, yet still

Longing for the key that can unlock my guarded

Gates and reassure me that real gentleness still

Abounds that purity in love still exists,

That forever can be shared, not merely survived alone.

Celeste q

HAPPY NEW YEAR